Uncertainty.

It's the root of life's anxiety. Trust me, I've felt it many times. In fact, the past few weeks my mind has been plagued with it. You see, the last three months I've been an intern at a PR firm and it's been great.  I have learned a ton and it was a huge blessing from the Lord that I even got the position in the first place. However, my internship is almost up and because I don't graduate until May, I don't know where to go next. I am left with nothing to do and with no job to help with bills, and let me be the first to say-- city livin' ain't cheap. I guess you could say, this last month has been filled with uncertainty at it's finest. 

Or so I thought. 

One would think that after over a dozen times of this continuous cycle of worry surrounding different events in my life, I would have learned my lesson. It starts with a new moment of uncertainty, then the worry and anxiety set in, then just like always in the nick of time-- The Lord provides and things work out. Then finally, you wonder why you wasted so much time worrying. Sound familiar? I think we are all guilty of falling into the worry cycle at one time or another. 

I heard jobs were hard to find in New York, and paid internships--even harder. Like I said, it was a blessing to have landed mine. I started reaching out to anyone and everyone to find information about places that were hiring as well as searching online for another internship opportunity.  I had heard that without having some kind of an "in" or knowing someone, internships were almost impossible. However, I thought I would take a shot in the dark and I applied to a few hoping that my resume would stick out enough to land an interview. Well, it did. 

A few days later I got an email from another PR firm that wanted to set up an interview! I was really excited too because this was the firm I was most hoping to hear from. A few days later, I went in for the interview and after about 2 weeks while in the process of contacting my references....I became once again plagued with anxiousness about the future. Oh ye of little faith.

Then.... like always, he provided. The inbox on my computer popped up with a new message from the hiring manager at the firm-- "Great news! We've been in touch with all of your references, and at this point would love to offer you the internship position." ....I literally couldn't stop smiling for like 3 hours. Uncertainty, no longer. 

It occurred to me at this moment that although we sometimes are plagued with the anxiousness of uncertainty, it's all really just a waste of time. It's a waste of time because the Lord always is and always has been certain. Uncertainty and fear, is really only a fear of the lord not coming through for us.  Ask yourself this, has he really EVER not come through for you? I'm not saying hard times don't happen, in fact if hard times didn't happen I fear society would forget the Lord entirely, or simply have no need for him. When it comes down to it, it's all a choice. We choose to either trust the Lord, and have faith in him, and he delivers.

Without fail. Every time.

 Maybe not in the way we think or want, but it's always the better way. Always. .... Or we simply choose to steer away, and take matters into our own hands and quite frankly, we loose.

Without fail. Every time. 

and unfortunately with this choice comes the question the world is most confused about; Gods existence.

 I thinks it's rather funny that people find themselves asking for God to prove himself. "Prove your existence by showing me this, or doing this" or " How is there proof that God exists with all the evil in the world today?"..... When in reality, this life is not for God to prove himself to us, but for us to prove ourselves to God. To have faith in him at times when faith seems impossible. And by simply believing  and  knowing that in the end; The Lord Provides. He always does.

..... of this, I am certain.